Reaching Altitudes of Meh at Flying Pizza

Twenty- Sixth Stop: The Flying Pizza

Date: February 23rd, 2012

Location: 9563 Fields Ertel Road Mason, OH

Ranking:  23

In gathering the basics to start off this post, we were surprised to find that The Flying Pizza was ranked #23.  After all the pizzas we've had across the last year, it just doesn't seem to be better than half of the entire list. 

Perhaps it was us; perhaps we just didn't order well.  When you enter Flying Pizza, you step in front of a large counter where you are meant to place your order, and behind which the staff prepares dough and bakes the pies.  As usual, we had no idea what we wanted to order.  We started to peruse the menu but, honestly, both of us felt a little rushed with the pizza attendant waiting in front of us with a pen and order pad in hand.  He was very nice, though, and told us about the two types of pizza that the pizzeria offers:  Neapolitan and Sicilian, the former meaning "New York Style" and the latter being thicker-crusted and generally cut into square pieces.  Both were appealing, but after our adventurous turn at Ferrari's (Thai and Mediterranean, remember!), we were both in the mood for some standard NY, wedge-shaped slices of pizza. 

Then, we noticed the lunch combo menu posted on the back wall of the counter area.  There were 4-5 options, each featuring different components (pizza, salad), toppings (sausage, pepperoni, sausage & pepperoni, cheese), and styles (the aforementioned NY style and Sicilian).  Pinched for time and growing oh-so-hungry, we both thought this was our best bet.  Robyn went with the 2-slices of pepperoni and mushroom, NY Style, plus a drink.  Courtney copycatted the format, but opted for sausage and pepperoni as her toppers.  Both meals were $6.95 plus tax.  Not bad.  Oh, and did we mention that the NY style slices were HUMONGOUS?  The Flying Pizza definitely doesn't skimp.  For good measure, though, we tacked on an order of breadsticks.  As dippers, we were offered pizza sauce and/or nacho cheese.  We quickly confessed our mutual, unbending love for nacho cheese and politely accepted the proposal of both sauces.  

We grabbed a little booth while we awaited our lunch order, which the server had promised to bring to our table.  This place has a pretty New York-y vibe, and definitely exhibits an atmosphere of a traditional pizzeria.  It is clean and casual, with the long counter between dining area and kitchen space, and white tiled floors.  Black and white photos of New York and baseball scenes are mounted on all the walls, conjuring up a feeling for times past.

The view from our seats, looking toward the entrance

Our pizza came, and the giant slices were spilling off the sides of their paper plate beds.  Additionally, 6-7 breadsticks were piled on a separate plate, dotted green with herbs and drizzled with (I assume olive?) oil.  From the overall looks of things, we were ready to dig in. 

With nacho cheese as yellow as Courtney's phone!

Immediately, Robyn felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment as she looked at her order.  Everything looked fine…except for the mushrooms.  While neither of us is sure precisely how the pizza was made, it appeared that the mushrooms were removed from the can, drained, and then plopped onto an already cooked pepperoni pizza.  Maybe this is just a personal preference, but Robyn likes her mushrooms to show a little evidence of having been cooked.  The flavor and texture are pretty appalling to her otherwise, which is why she decided to dump most of them onto the plate instead of into her mouth.  Other than that particular aspect, Robyn thought the rest of her pizza was okay.  The thin crust had a good chew with a crisp bottom.  The pepperoni was sliced thick, and added a welcome flavor to the slices.  The breadsticks were also a highlight for her, after the letdown of the mushrooms.  While dunking our breadsticks, both of us enjoyed the unconventional, processed, gooey sludge known as “nacho cheese” more than either of us would like to admit.  Also, when this is one of the highlights of your meal, you know there must be some room for improvement.   

Bleh

Perhaps it wasn't the best thing ever, but Courtney enjoyed her pizza.  The slices were huge, thin, and allowed her to fold it before taking a bite.  This helped to contain the pieces of sausage, which were piled atop each slice, and constantly spilling when she picked one up.  The crust is good - thin and just sturdy enough while still being bendable.  The cheese is nice and greasy, and the flavor beckons you to take another bite.  Going back to the sausage, though:  similar experience as with Robyn's mushrooms.  It really seemed to be school cafeteria or frozen pizza sausage.  Maybe it wasn't, but the look and taste certainly recalled those less-worthy varieties. 

On your way out, you or your inner child may want to snag one of the Blue Bunny frozen deserts from the case in front of the counter.  We opted out, with little room for anything other than the pizza in our bellies.  Also on the way out, you need to be careful with your leftovers— the “to-go” packaging is prepared at the counter by sliding your greasy paper plate (the one you ate from!!) into a paper bag and rolling the ends of the bag shut, creating an awkward, floppy triangular prism.  And on a non-related pizza note, Robyn would like to add that she was very impressed with the size and cleanliness of the women’s bathroom.  It was probably one of the cleanest restaurant bathrooms anyone has ever set foot in!       

Weird, right?

Ta-da!

So, again, perhaps we just didn't order well.  We are having the delayed realization that pizza-by-the-slice and combo deals might not be the way to go at some places (though Goodfellas in MainStrasse sure does it well).  Flying Pizza has a pretty lengthy menu that provides a substantial list of the standard pizza ingredients, plus some less common ones (like Ricotta cheese and sliced meatballs).  If you go, go for dinner, and order a whole specialty pie or develop your own concoction of different toppings.  Trust us that the Neapolitan crust is a good choice, or try the Sicilian which, based on photos, looks pretty tasty itself.  Though the pizza we had on our visit wasn't particularly our favorite, we'd give it another shot.

Two Tickets to Paradise

Twenty-first Stop:  Jean Paul’s Paradiso

Date: July 13^th, 2012

Location: 6732 Clough Pike Cincinnati, OH 45244

Ranking:  41

Biggest mystery here?  The fact that Jean Paul’s little piece of heaven doesn’t show up until #41 on the master pizza list.  This place is named appropriately.  It’s not just about how delicious Jean Paul’s masterful pizza is; it’s about the location, the desserts, the experience of ordering, picking up, and eating it.  This place, and its pizza, would rank much closer to the number 1 than the number 50 if we had our say.  

It was Robyn’s idea to go with Jean Paul’s.  Courtney had just gotten back in town that day and, though she wanted some pizza, she wanted to do it in the laziest way possible.  So, Robyn headed over to the eastside with the suggestion of Jean Paul’s carryout.  Jean Paul's is primarily a carry-out establishment, although there are one or two high top tables for two that could be used to dine in.  It took Courtney a second to realize exactly where this parlor sat.  She didn’t make the immediate connection between it and the small strip mall-like location on Clough Pike that she’d passed numerous times en route to the local pet store.  But, sure enough, that’s where it is.  It sits in the far right slot of a building with a few businesses, right on Clough Pike in Anderson Township.  It’s quaint and charming from the outside, with hanging baskets of flowers punctuated by matching light fixtures, and a sign over the entrance featuring a green cartoon chef fit with an apron and hat. 

We had reviewed the menu online.  Admittedly, the prices seemed steep to us.  In fact, we opted for a small pizza, since a large version was $23.40.  Plus, we had heard that Jean Paul’s offered a menagerie of fine dessert specimens, and we wanted to save some dollars for our sweet teeth.  We called in our order for the $13.50 version of a Pepperoni, salami, ham, capicola, tomatoes, basil and garlic pizza, and were given about a ½ hour until it was ready.  Judging by the thick  accent of the man on the other end, we are pretty sure JP himself took our order. 

“I smell a Sicilian!” exclaimed the young woman in the visible kitchen behind the pastry case.  No, she wasn’t being racist.  She was pinpointing, with wise familiarity, the scent of our carefully crafted dinner, a small Sicilian Pizza.  This must be a popular choice, if it can be named by its smell.  We came in a little suspicious of what the website calls “The best in the universe!” and, honestly, more excited for the desserts.  

L to R: fruit tart, a flour-less chocolate cake, and Key Lime Pie

chocolate mousse cup, Neopolitan, and Cannoli

We saw these immediately, encased and on display, and were surprised by the number of choices before us.  All sold in individual servings, there was Key Lime Pie, cheesecake, Tiramisu, tiny Pecan pies, chocolate mousse in a colorful edible cup, Neopolitans, fancy tarts we can no longer name, and more.  The woman behind the counter was extremely nice, patient, and explanatory as we ooed and aaaahed, and asked a bazillion questions about the genetic makeups of each little sweet treat.  We both chose four desserts, eight in total.  This might be a lot for two people, but we dare you to survey those desserts and not leave with a sampling of your own.  Robyn also bought some homemade croutons, pictured below.  We left the premises with what could be described as a portion of paradise.  Calling the restaurant Jean Paul’s Paradiso turns out not to be boastful moniker, but a modest assessment of inventory. 

And now, the pizza.  We were not expecting this pizza to be as very delicious as it was.  The blend of ingredients on The Sicilian is nothing fancy or out of the ordinary, but the flavors swell to set this pizza apart from other contenders.  It was a conflicting feeling to eat each bite:  you want to savor it but, simultaneously, you wish to shove it in your mouth so as to more quickly take the next.  The toppings form a strata where meats, cheese, and veggies live in a perfect harmony of flavor and texture.  The tomatoes were really the focal point of this pizza pie, and the one item that most stands out in retrospect.  They had to have been marinated in a blend of oil, balsamic, and Italian herbs for the perfect eternity.  The final product was plump, red, and incredibly juicy, lending a wonderful flavor to each bite of the pizza.  To help you understand how very tasty the tomatoes were:  Robyn, who typically picks this red fruit off of her slices, found Jean Paul’s tomatoes to be succulent and non-negotiable.  Perhaps they are the best part of this pizza.  When something is made the right way, you just know.  You can sense the skill involved in its recipe and the care taken in its creation.  The personal investment in the product is transferred through the food and to the person eating it.  Maybe this sounds a little hippy-dippy, but seriously you guys.  You know it’s true.  It’s why we don’t get the same pleasure from an Eggo waffle as we would a waffle at Taste of Belgium.  Well, not if you are paying attention and have taste buds. 

Robyn's croutons, which were mighty tasty

Unfortunately, we often plow through life with little thought about how our food got from the earth to our plate.  Jean Paul’s Paradiso is one of those places that help you reconnect and become more mindful of the pleasures that food, when done the right way, can bring.  In all honestly, we know neither the source of our Sicilian’s ingredients, nor the delectable pastries we added on to our order.  The quality of this food was such that it just makes you wonder about all that went into it, better appreciate the process and the people behind it, and most importantly, want to come back, over and over again. 

No, thank YOU, Mr. Jean Paul and crew.

Grandview Tavern & Grille

Thirteenth Stop: Grandview Tavern & Grille

Date: April 11^th, 2012

Location: 2220 Grandview Drive Fort Mitchell, KY 41017

Ranking: 34

Shhhhhh.  Half price pizza on Wednesdays.  Don’t Tell. 

So, this particular week, Wednesday was the only evening that worked for us to get together for a pizza treat.  We wanted somewhere close to one of our houses, so when Courtney checked our master tracking spreadsheet and saw that Grandview Tavern & Grille was in Fort Mitchell, that seemed like the place to go.  As luck would have it, upon visiting their website, she found that Wednesday is half price pizza night.  Score.

When we pulled into the parking lot, Robyn remembered family dinner there a few years prior.  It had been for a special occasion, such as an anniversary, that warranted a “fancy” dinner.  And, as we eyeballed the storefront, we started to second-guess whether or not we were dressed appropriately.  Everyone seemed to be dressed in suits and dresses.  Apparently this place is a big happy hour hot spot for the corporate folk.  We’re not fancy ladies, especially on weeknights when the plan is to stuff our faces with delicious pizza goodness.  Also, we are so used to little parlors and holes in the wall that this place immediately struck us as stuffy.  However, as soon as we approached the hostess station, we realized we had worried for no reason.  While the overall atmosphere was a bit more formal than to which we are accustomed, there were plenty of other people in casual attire around the bar and in booths along the walk to our table.  Once we saw the lady in the crummy old hoodie, we felt much better.

We were seated in a room adjacent to the bar area, where the clientele seemed to be mainly the upper crust of the white middle class baby boomers.  Our hostess seated us in a booth table covered in white linen, a glass tabletop, and adorned with candle lighting.  Despite the candles and time of day, the room was very dim, which made photos difficult when coupled with our amateur skills and tools. 

The pizzas come in one size:  the perfect size for one hungry adult.  We like this setup, as it allows us to try two kinds of pizza pie.  Our final picks were the Sicilian ($12 regular price) and the Wild Mushroom ($12 regular price).  The Sicilian was topped with “homemade zesty tomato sauce, Italian sausage, pepperoni, capicola, fresh basil, and oregano.”  The Wild Mushroom came with roasted and sautéed mushrooms, olive oil, garlic, and smoked Gouda.   There are many other tasty-looking choices available, and it took us a few moments to narrow down our selections.

For both pizzas, the shining element was the crust.  The dough is enhanced with a top-secret blend of herbs and spices, making it unlike any other crust we’ve consumed thus far.  It was soft, yet crisp in all the right places, and has a show of green that tells us its herb components are fresh.  When we commented to our server about how much we liked the crust, he agreed that it was delicious but then quickly said “he cannot tell a soul” its recipe.  No worries – we have no intention of actually trying to recreate these pizzas.  We just want to eat them.

Robyn really liked the cheese on the Wild Mushroom pizza, along with the juicy flavor and texture that the mushrooms provided.  Its smoked Gouda was melt-y and delicious, really all you can ask for.  The mushrooms (we think Cremini) were whole and had a slightly sweet flavor.  Odd for mushrooms, we suppose, but somehow it worked. 

Robyn wasn’t keen on the Italian sausage on the Sicilian, but mostly because it’s not one of her favorite toppings in general.  Courtney was happy with this one, and especially liked the fresh basil that topped it all.  It was a great touch to the sausage and pepperoni, providing an overall cooling effect to those spicy meats.  This pizza was nice and crispy at the edges, giving a nice crunch to your bites. 

As aforementioned, Courtney had discovered that Grandview hosts a ½ prize pizza deal on Wednesdays.  Our server didn’t mention this when we ordered, but neither did we.  No big deal, since we already knew about the deal, and would have gotten pizza regardless.  However, when he did eventually slip a hint at ½ priced Wednesdays, it was rather uncomfortable.  He handed us each a check (we go dutch), smiled, and said that the pizza tastes “so much better on Wednesdays.”  We didn’t know what to say.  As far as he knew, neither of us even knew about the promotion.  It almost seemed like he was calling us out as cheapskates, which we didn’t really like.  Though he was very nice and attentive throughout our visit, this moment is the one that sticks with us. 

In the grand scheme of things, sure, we liked Grandview’s pizza.  Most notably, the crust was a small work of art.  There was that odd moment with our server near the end but, overall, considering his otherwise friendly service and their tasty pizza, it was a pleasant dining experience.  You can tell that they take special care in making each guest’s personal pizza, and pride themselves in their array of fresh ingredients.  We just don’t think we’ll be dreaming about this pizza every night (we’re looking at you, Giuseppe’s!).  

Mastering the Art of the Pony Keg Pizza at Trotta's

Twelfth Stop: Trotta’s Pizza and Drive Thru

Date:  April 6^th, 2012

Location: 3501 Werk Road  Cincinnati, OH 45248

Ranking: 37

We had been waiting for the ideal time to try this drive-thru on the Westside, and this Friday night seemed as good as any.  With some rented movies and a comfortable couch awaiting us, we made the trek across the city together.  We phoned in our order on the way. 

Essentially, Trotta’s offers two completely different types of pizza:  Sicilian and Traditional.  The Sicilian is a rectangular-shaped, thick-crusted pizza with large, puffy edges.  The Traditional is on the thinner side, and round.  With these two different types of pizza, all kinds of varieties are offered, including both specialty pies and an impressive list of ingredients to build your own creation.  And then, there is the Lotta Trotta.  By our estimates, this is a gargantuan version of a Sicilian pizza, though we do not know its precise dimensions; they are not listed on the drive-thru’s site.  From pictures and confirmations from friends, we understand that this menu item lives up to its name.  However, we will have to wait until next time to find out for sure.

On the left, Sicilian-style goetta pizza.  On the right, a traditional style bacon spinach pizza.

On this night, we thought it best to order two completely different pies.  Variety is always nice, plus we find it more suitable for blogging purposes.  On an 18” Traditional crust, we selected the Bacon Spinach pizza, which featured red onion, Roma tomatoes, black pepper, garlic, provolone, and a ranch sauce in addition to those titular key ingredients. Robyn noticed quite a bit of minced garlic on her leftover slices the next day, which could be a make or break feature if you care about how your breath smells throughout the next 24 hours after eating this pizza. All of us agreed that this pizza was AWESOME. 

We like it, a lotta.

The creamy ranch sauce was slightly tangy, and really complimented the medley of ingredients atop the pizza.  The toppings were incredibly fresh.  Leaves of fresh spinach laid flat under the other, more bulky ingredients, thin slices of red onion wove their way between the giant chunks of thick bacon, and the cheese successfully brought (and kept) all of these pieces together.  The crust had a buttery taste to it, which, is always delicious.  It was firm to the touch and crispy on the outside but, once you took a bite, incredibly soft and chewy on the inside.  This was definitely our favorite.

To accompany the Bacon Spinach, we chose a one-topping Large Sicilian.  Our topping of choice:  goetta.  That’s right, folks, Trotta’s offers goetta in their exceptional list of pizza toppers. We knew this from the initial Cincinnati Magazine blurb, and had always planned to take advantage of its availability when the time came.  We love goetta (in fact, Robyn was once dubbed The Goetta Princess), and had only had it on pizza at the annual Goettafest extravaganza.  None of us were sure of what would best compliment the goetta (maybe tomatoes?), so we made the executive decision to leave it at that.  We are sad to say that we were a little disappointed.

 

As aforementioned, the Sicilian pizza is much bulkier in the crust.  Combined with the strong Italian, zesty flavor of Trotta’s pizza sauce, the goetta didn’t stand a chance.  The goetta is crumbled on top of the cheese.  Normally the taste of goetta is an independent one but, in this case, it was kind of lost in the shuffle.  We noticed that the edge pieces of the pizza versus those cut from the center offered a different experience to the eater.  The edges, again, are just so thick and doughy; in the middle, the taste of the goetta shone through a bit more.  Somehow we found that this pizza grew better as we ate more.  Leftovers heated up exceptionally well, and made it more acceptable for one to want pizza for breakfast (goetta IS primarily a breakfast food, after all).  This wasn’t our favorite, but we are glad that we gave it a shot.

In closing, we’d like to say a few words about the drive-thru itself.  Trotta’s is a true drive-thru service, offering soft drinks, alcoholic beverages, and snacks in addition to their fresh baked pizzas.  We had heard that the service was exceptional, and those reviews were correct.  We were quickly in and out, despite a line a few cars deep when we arrived.  These people work hard and fast, and immediately offered to stick our giant pizzas in the backseat.  Thank goodness, too, as we had already discussed our fear of having a pizza handed to us through the car window.  We wish we had a Trotta’s in our neighborhood so we could frequent this pony-keg establishment more often.  Seriously, how awesome is the drive-thru concept?  Having a get-together and need more beer?  Got a sleeping baby in the backseat?  Wearing hideous sweatpants or pajamas?  The pizza drive-thru is your best friend.  And we hope someday soon to meet up with it again, along with that scrumptious Bacon Spinach pie.